I also low key want to flex on my rich kid friend whose dad just bought him a $500 e-bike. But seriously though, after that I’m going to move what I have left (at least $50) into my CashApp Savings, keep adding to it, and hopefully prove to y’all I’m at least trying not to be a fuck up. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied DM me for my friend’s PayPal.

It’s almost November and the last couple nights have been almost intolerably cold—each year it gets worse and worse. The butane I need for my camp stove, which I haven’t had fuel for in like a month. Most of my bedding and all my clean laundry is damp and/or got dirty and fucked up so I’d like to do laundry. Snacks and drinks I need for morale more than anything. I’d like to order DoorDash maybe. CashApp/Venmo—allthetimesivedied

I’m homeless, in a part of AmeriKKKa where every winter is tolerable except for a week or two where it dips the closest I’ve ever experienced to 0°F. The last two years I’ve been able to ride it out in motel rooms paid for by friends but this year I don’t think I’ll be so lucky. As fall fades fast into winter I’m becoming straight up terrified. I want to do more than just survive this winter though. I’ve always dreamt of living out of a van, even before I was homeless. I almost accomplished that dream this summer but I fucked up. I think I’ve learned my lesson and I feel like I deserve a second chance. Not only would a van give me a place to stay *kind of* indoors-ish this winter, it will give me something I’ve never had before: my own private space. Being car homeless is generally better than being tent-and-sleeping-bag homeless; I’ll have a better shot at blending in, and I’ll have more mobility, a place to stash my things, etc. I’m going to try my best not to dip into this fund for food or day to day sundries. But it’s hard when like, only one person sends me $20, or something. And I’m going to keep boosting this fundraising effort—something multiple people have recommended to me. CashApp and Venmo: allthetimesivedied DM me for my friend’s PayPal. I also might need someone’s help setting up a GoFundMe. I’m at kind of a crossroads in my life. I can either have hope for the future and get my life back together, or I can keep not giving a fuck and die soon. Having a van, which would encourage me to replace my ID and give me some self-esteem, would help a lot. Thanks.

Goal is $2,000—either for a motel room for a couple weeks when it inevitably blizzards this winter, or for a used minivan or something. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied I am also looking for some help setting up a GoFundMe—because I don’t have an ID, and also: 1. It will probably draw more interest if someone who isn’t me is managing it, because, well, you know… 2. I suck at writing things like the description for a GFM page and would like someone else to do it. Thanks.

I can tolerate winters out here, except for 1 or 2 weeks in December or January when it gets intolerably cold, like 10°F or lower, every year almost like clockwork for the last couple years. The last two I got to ride out indoors, in a motel room paid for by a friend. I don’t think I’ll be so lucky this year, and I am really fucking scared. That’s option #1, and it will cost me somewhere between $900 and $1,200, assuming I’m booking a room for 2 weeks at the Motel 6 all the homeless people go to around here. Option #2 is buying a van and winterizing it. I can get a decent one for $2,000 or less—I almost bought a really nice Jeep Grand Cherokee for $1,700 a couple months ago and I’m kicking myself still for not buying it. Living in a van or something has been my dream even before I became homeless. I fucked up what feels like the one chance I will ever have and I feel like I deserve a second chance. Funds from this particular fundraising effort will go into my CashApp Savings and not be fucked with—if I have another need, I’ll make another post. I’m setting the goal at $2,000. Here goes nothing. CashApp and Venmo: allthetimesivedied DM me for my friend’s PayPal. ***Please*** write “Motel/Van” *or something* that will indicate to me that it’s for this fundraising effort, so I don’t spend it on a bong or chocolate milk or something. Also share if you can.

chapotraphouse allthetimesivedied • 2w ago • 97%

The house I'm camping in front of started blasting opera music to make me leave—good thing I have a bad ass speaker and Spotify premium

It’s still wearing on me psychologically but I will give them a taste of their own fucking medicine so help me God. Taking a break right now. Only got minimal sleep last night. Fun.

askchapo allthetimesivedied • 3w ago • 97%

Has /c/mutual_aid finally gotten sick of me?

I fuck myself over by sharing things I don’t need to, and being *too* honest regarding those things. Sucks that it took *this* for me to finally learn my lesson. I’ve *really* fucked myself over this way. Couple months ago I was sent $4K by someone who just wanted me to be happy. I had literally never in my entire life had money to spend like that. It was a once in a lifetime kind of thing—I know that all too well now. I almost bought a really fucking nice Jeep Grand Cherokee, with tags good for a whole year, already passed DEQ. Then I listened to a friend who said I should buy a car made by a Japanese company (Honda, Toyota, etc.). So the opportunity passed and never repeated itself. It was only $1,700. I didn’t spend it all on drugs. I spent maybe a quarter of it just helping my friends out—I sent $400 to an old friend who’s homeless in Austin, TX; I ordered a fuck ton of DoorDash for my friends and I. I also wasted a lot of it. I’d go buy something stupid, break it or lose it and buy another one. I was careless. I loved being, for a brief moment in time, like my friends who have seemingly endless money either from rich parents or ripping off Uncle Sam. It’s my dream to be some sort of content creator—I’ve always had a thing for writing that’s never been executed beyond just like, a private hobby. Like an old friend of mine who draws and makes art and doesn’t really show anyone. Making videos or whatever, too. That’d be cool. Then I can live off Patreon (even if it isn’t much, I’d still be happy—the things I hate about being homeless aren’t the *being homeless* part, per se). I believe I deserve a second chance and I know that if I were given one, I would be way more responsible. But that’s never going to happen. Everyone knows what a fuck up I am now and as winter approaches, I’m legit scared. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to fuel my drug abuse and party and shit (tbh right now I don’t even need money for that bahaha). Meth is fucking lame and I hate it anyways. I just want my knees to stop hurting like fuck whenever I stand up and sit down. I want this brain fog I get from not eating to clear. I want a cozy sleeping bag, clean clothes and facial cleanser. I want to fill in these sunken cheeks and smooth this dry nasty skin. I want to be able to just chill and read or sew or something instead of trying to find breakfast at 4PM. I just want to have a life again.

So for about a month now I’ve been getting paid to watch a friend’s van while he’s crashing at this kind-of-a-squat down the street. I’m not making this up. He pays me $20 every couple days (we’re both homeless, and I also get paid in other cool things + I get to crash in a tent next to the van, so it’s whatever). Today he paid me $10, with the promise that more would come later. And so of course, I lost the $10. I was planning on buying a few groceries—the squat might be getting evicted today so I’m raiding the kitchen, yoinked some instant coffee, need to buy some sort of creamer because I can only drink coffee with a fuck ton of cream and sugar. I also owe a very sweet, amazing friend $10-20 for an insanely awesome speaker he found dumpster diving. We agreed on $10 but I think it’s worth more like $20. He’s an awesome person and deserves it. Oh yeah and I need more butane for the awesome stove you guys helped me buy. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied

*Why* isn’t important right now. But this *is* important (not really). Venmo—allthetimesivedied

\* I ate half a piece of cake and some crackers and artichoke dip this morning. I just need like, $20-30 to grab some snacks, or do DoorDash. Maybe since I have a mini stove and cooking paraphernalia now I’ll do something economical, maybe even something I can make enough of to share (since I have a lot of other homeless people stopping by the tent/van I’m babysitting). Oh and look who it is! ‘ Creamsicle! What’s up buddy? He says, “Every morning my mom and dad send me $5 so I can go buy a donut and a chocolate milk for breakfast. They said I can’t share with anyone, not even my friend, and it felt really bad not being able to share today. Please help my friend.” Thank you Creamsicle. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied

In particular I want to buy a jacket—a leather motorcycle jacket like the one that was stolen from me a couple months ago. CashApp/Venmo—allthetimesivedied

These fuckers are usually expensive—the cheapest option at Fred Meyer’s (Kroger) is $40. Having one of these bad boys will enable me to cook my own food, and thus improve my nutrition significantly. And as you probably know by now, I am chronically malnourished. I would also need to get cookware. I had some, sourced from a free pile, but then I threw them out because the prospects of getting my hands on a camp stove seemed unrealistic, LOL. CashApp: allthetimesivedied

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/3455464 > Homeless trans/non-binary person, trying to raise funds for winter/cold weather gear > > I was hoping to have a van by now but I’m not very smart or good at anything. > > I need, *among other things*, an actual *good* sleeping bag, thermal underwear, socks, a camp stove, and gloves. I’m too delirious to do the math but all this will probably cost at least $200. > > CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied > > DM me for my friend’s PayPal (since I don’t have one of my own). > > Thanks.

I was hoping to have a van by now but I’m not very smart or good at anything. I need, *among other things*, an actual *good* sleeping bag, thermal underwear, socks, a camp stove, and gloves. I’m too delirious to do the math but all this will probably cost at least $200. CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied DM me for my friend’s PayPal (since I don’t have one of my own). Thanks.

CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied.

My friends are hungry too, and I want to share with them. My CashApp/Venmo is allthetimesivedied.

chat allthetimesivedied • 2mo ago • 96%

I actually ate a lot of food today and then walked around too much and almost threw up/might still throw up, and it's making me sad

Like this really fucking sucks. I still have 6 fucking blocks to go because I volunteered to go run an errand, not fucking realizing the contents of my gut would uncomfortably slosh around. I was sad a minute ago when I thought I was going to throw up—because I actually ate a lot, when normally I barely fucking eat hardly anything. I’m sitting down and taking a break now though.

I hate my life so much. CashApp/Venmo—allthetimesivedied

Because my dealer was too busy today to help me out and will be too busy selling fucking sticks at this street fair tomorrow, I am going to be coming down off of meth. I already am, but it’s going to be worse tomorrow. Energy drinks/coffee make for a pretty decent substitute. I ***need this***. Otherwise I am seriously going to lose my fucking mind. I am not exaggerating. Please. I have shit to do tomorrow. I ***had*** shit to do today. I hate my life so fucking mich. CashApp/Venmo—allthetimesivedied

I just wanna charge my phone and post, yo. Venmo— \@allthetimesivedied